Monday, September 22, 2008
Wobbling......
I hate wobbling. Yet here I am. I'm not on steady ground lately, and I noticed that I've avoided posting about it, so I'm addressing my cowardly side and hey, life is too short. And I can't afford therapy so here you go.......mental purging to commence.1. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I was accepted into my new program, but I'm still awaiting my new schedule. School starts back on Oct 2nd. They better hurry. I've called my advisor so often, I think he is screening now. He obviously doesn't like OCD students assigned to him.
2. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I petitioned to change my major from Business Administration to Healthcare Management. Mainly because I've done business.......oh have I done business. I've been a legal secretary, I've been a deputy for a court, I've been the exe admin for a chamber of commerce, I've been a branch manager for the government, I've been a sales coordinator for a large surfwear company, and I'm stuck on the idea that once I finally get that elusive degree, well I'll end up somebody's admin, yet with a degree. Nope, I wanta be something different when I grow up. So I'm switching to a field I've never ever had the ability to work in, mainly cause I hate blood. Healthcare. But business.........does that make sense to anyone but me?
3. I'm a nervous wreck about school. I started my school career back oh about 14 years ago majoring in pre-law. Then I took a break and The Man and I sorta just went about things bass ackwards. Marriage, kids, military, then school. Woohoo, we rock! So a part of me is wondering why I didn't just buckle down somewhere along the way, you know in Texas, or Chicago, or San Diego or Oklahoma and just do it. So now I'm determined. And it's not purty when I'm determined.
4 . I'm a nervous wreck about school. Since I chose a private school with a good rep to finish my degree 95% online (i'll have to do my internship in state, eventually) I have to pay private school prices, OMG, my cheap frugal arse can't take it. But I am going to do this right, so in addition to student aid, I'm going out of pocket this year for tuition. Oh Lord, have pity on me now.
5. My backyard is still not done. That is about all I'm gonna say on that, as I love The Man dearly and bless his heart, it's not his fault it's hunting season or that he has midterms. But the damn yard is still dirt. With a fire pit, but dirt. With no sprinklers in sight, or a fence, or a deck....
6. Once again feeling the oddball at work, so I spend 90% of my day working away listening to my ipod or old tv show reruns on the computer. I've never been so productive. The problem is that I allow myself to worry about something I can't and wouldn't change if I could. Perception. Mainly the perception others have of me. Obviously I have an issue there but I worked really hard to become the person I am, so hang it.
7. Why can't anyone else smell Murphy in my house? Everyone assures me that his presence doesn't make my house smell....but I've just spent the last hour digging out my auto scent sprayers and hanging a few discreetly around the house. Hello morning rain. You smell lovely, with the slight undertone of dog. Damnit.
8. Being hairy......TMI I know but come on.....I can never remember to shave my legs. It's like I have an addiction to the oblivious. I don't notice it till I'm sitting on the couch in my comfy pjs and The Man goes to rub my legs, almost without noticing it. Until he jerks it back, and starts in with the monkey jokes. This could give a girl a complex. So in addition to being perpetually short, I'm also perpetually hairy. Hey, keeping it real here, sorry.
9. Feet........at 31 (yep, proud of those laugh lines baby) my feet are falling apart. I soak the bastards like an old lady at least once a week. I'm constantly rubbing lotion into them, they are still falling apart. I mention it to my doc and *poof* I have an answer. Heels. Seems since I've spent the last 13 years (minus a year for each kid) I've spent 5 days a week, 9 plus hours a day on my feet, in 3 inch heels. And now my feet only hurt when I wear flats, or tennis shoes, or even no heeled boots. I'm like Mrs. Flora (except not glamorous), a wonderful glamorous teacher I once had who wore heels everywhere for the same reason. She even gardened in her heels. At 5'2", okay crap, 5'1.5" I'm destined to wear heels for the rest of my life. I'll be that little old lady in the not matching clothes waddling down main street teetering on her heels, flipping you the finger for driving too fast or having your music up to loud. God help us all.
10. It's late and I have no idea what to cook. They're getting sandwiches and they'll like it. Although I'd probably give them ice cream too if they asked.
Sigh............strangely I feel better!
Labels: About me, Are you serious? Why yes
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Ok so are you a nervous wreck about school???
I say you're probably over doing it but if I was in your shoes I would probably be the same way. I think you will do great!!!!
The backyard will get done soon enough and you can tell the HOA to shove it if they say anything before then. :-)
Don't worry about Murphy, he's cute so he can get away with the smell.
Your feet, keep soaking and it will get better. I can't wear heels at all and my little short self would love to!!! :-)
I hope your day and nights gets much better!!!
I think your only nervous about the change. Once you start you will rock right through the program. You will be fine. Don't worry so much about the money part or any of that just focus.
I know you and you will kick a$$.
The yard can wait it is almost winter there.... yeah I said it. Just get a damn fence and no one will look and focus on the yard anymore.
Now the dog smell.... I have the same damn thing going on only my husband swears that he can smell dog everywhere he goes.I clean like a damn mad women and get the auto air smell good things too and he still smells DOG. Just keep up the good cleaning and who the hell cares what it smells like.... your a damn busy women.
As for the damn people at work don't let them get to you... they are only jealous they can't be you... The are a bunch of you know what's.... we don't need people like that in our way.
So you can call me anytime you need to and you can e-mail me a noval and I am sure this will be cheaper than seeing a DR.
I suck at keeping up around here! shoot - I had a boss that could only wear heels from too many years of wearing those torture devices. From what she goes through I'd say start going barefoot and get used to being short - she has to live in high heels!
Of course you feel better! That's what blogging is all about. I'm just glad you were able to get that all out.
I also think that once you start school, everything will fall into place. It is so scary to start something new.
WHEW!! let it out girlfriend! you have every right to with all that on your plate! glad we can be here as your sounding board.
oh, and "dolly parton" came to mind. ever see her heels?? good lord! and she's like in her 60's! you better start taking 'em down a little and ease into some flats.
Hey girly.... sorry I been busy. Heals.... take em down a notch and get yourself some arch supports or your feet are gonna be right crippled up when your older.
School.... shoot girl you've always rocked at whatever you do. I know that you will kick some heavy arse at this too.
The yard..... fence & snow..... that's all I have to say bout that!! Get some bulbs planted so that they pop up in the spring and you'll feel much better come spring time and the yard is soup!!
Love you!