Sunday, January 20, 2008
Pissy Poop Face
It has occured to me that perhaps I should try and put positive things about me on my blog. However, they are never as fun. Plus I think it's important to face your faults, or in my case, all three thousand of them. So this should come as no surprise to anyone, I'm a sore loser.By this I don't mean that I can't stand to lose, I mean that I lose with such graceless name-calling, fit throwing essence that I really shouldn't be allowed to do anything constructive or that involves competition.
Last night, The Man and I had some unexpected downtime. So we dug out the board games I bought at Christmas. He wanted to play chess but I haven't a clue how to, plus I just knew I was such a badass that I would whip his butt in checkers, maybe we could lead up to chess. Maybe I'm a closet chess pro who just didn't know it, riggggggggggggggght.
So out comes the checkerboard.
We start the first game in martial comfort. Sipping iced tea and snacking on pecan bars that I made, cause at least cooking is still my thing.
It swiftly went downhill.
See The Man is a jerk when it comes to games. DO NOT PLAY WITH HIM EVER.
It started quite early, the taunts, the jeers and the superior laugh when I got cornerned very early in the game.
Then I got down to two pieces of gameware and he made it know verbally that I was toast. Either way I moved, I was a goner. "In two moves, I got you"
I studied that board like the cure to cancer was written before me.
I was a goner.
But the point that he had to point that out, killed me. So we went into another game. This one went faster, it's almost like he didn't allow me any dignity at all. It was quite embarrassing.
The worst was the taunts..... "Honey, stradegy isn't your thing, no big deal, just don't plan any wars" "Really honey, not everyone is sharp" "so i won, but I can't cook or do laundry anywhere near as good as you can"
By this point I was steaming mad and trying to hold my tongue so badly it hurt. See my precious children were playing another game at the end of the table. I can't let my mouth open at all.
Until, he had me blocked on my last three pieces.....
"Honey, give this one up and we'll play rummy, oh wait, I whip you there too. How about, ahhh that won't work, you suck at poker, I know..............we'll have a spelling bee....."
That was it, because in spite of everything he said that was 100% true, I can't spell to save my life, a fact that you might have noticed by reading this blog.....I lost it.
As the vile words came spewing out of my mouth, he was tickled pink, openly laughing as I swept that checkerboard to the floor, inabling him finishing that horrible game then as my children caught my eye, I threw out the very best non-lethal curse word I could, from in between gritted teeth......pissy poop face.
I am very ashamed of myself, cause surely I could have come up with something a little cooler than pissy poop face. geez......
I'll be finding checkers for weeks.
Labels: About me, Are you serious? Why yes, idiots, The Man
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We have taught our kids about being gracious losers and gracious winners.....sounds like someone never taught him about being a gracious winner.
I can think of lots of other phrases I would have used besides "pissy poop face" but hey, whatever works!
LMAO! I too am a poor loser..... Although I have to say whenever the big man and I played a game he didn't rub it in too hard! Actually I can think of a few where he did. But in all fairness.... when I won I did a dance and an in your face kinda thing... of course when we played games around our children we were a little better at hiding our indignant ways! Remind me not to play checkers with you when I come down this summer!