Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Dreaming of a Taser
People just can't stand it when you're happy. So I have decided that I need my very own taser. Stephanie Plum gets to use one, so I want one. Now. And The Man refuses to buy me one.See the story goes like this (long and lengthy, you'll need chocolate), I'm training my replacement. She is another story guys, more on that another day. So my cake week at work to be spent reading the gossips site and checking on my favorite blogs. But no, she is a rock and I'm trying to feed a year of info into a rock. So I'm stressed out and my boss refuses to speak to her AT ALL. In fact, he refers to her in front of her, as the new girl with the nose ring. I didn't pick this girl, my company picked her. I'm doing the best I can. So at this point I'm gonna say something nice cause my momma says that I should always find something nice to say about someone, here goes. I like the top half of her hair, the red is a great shade. There, I'm done.
Except, while training her, I'm dealing with the move, The Man is dealing with everything while on the cell with me, and the kids spent their last day in care. We're in deep poop people. Our housing office calls to tell him that we can't extend our notice (as orginially assured) because they've given our house to someone else, we have to be out on the 22nd of THIS MONTH. My taser would have come in handy when I then left work and marched into said housing office manager's private office and slammed her door behind me. Sizzle sizzle, dance housing lady dance. But no, no taser, so after throwing a country fit upside her, I got my extension. Taser Reason #1.
Then the military says they would move us, however we are 1481 miles from our home of record and we want to move 725 miles. No problem huh? Wrong, it's cheaper according to move lady to go the 1481 due to straight shot on interstate.......WTF? Sizzle Sizzle? Nope, had to go in and argue till I'm blue in the face. Taser Reason #2.
So new company is going to move us.....only problem. Office is closed for Christmas. Do you see the pattern here.......we'll get back to you after Christmas. Sizzle Sizzle. Reason #3.
I'm not counting the fact that my head is pounding but, I escorted my darlings to eat at Denny's (thanks for the gift certificate H) on Kid's Eat Free Night (What? I'm frugal, it's a great quality!) Where I slip away to the rest room and upon reaching our table, Dutchess yells "Princess called me a LOSER!" Excuse me? This errupts into a huge fight with three grapes flying in the process over who brought up the LOSER issue first. The Man you ask? He was zoned out and looks up startled, "What'd I miss?"I was NOT at any time wishing for a taser at this point.........swear........I mean it........
Labels: girls, pissed off, The Man
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I've found that sometimes, all you need to do, is move up very close to someone, looke them in the eye and say:
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
They never bother you again after that.
Bless your heart! It sounds like the milt. housing crap we went through in the Middle East. All the insane lack of reasoning -- passing the buck - excuses, excuses, excuses. Thank God I didn't have a taser -- or I'd be in jail for murder. I'm sure I would have found a way to commit murder with it.
I hope you've just hunkered down for Christmas - and let them just find a temporary place for the new tenants. What are they gonna do? Come physically move you out on Christmas Day?
Fingers crossed all goes well. Merry Christmas and Happy, Settled, Peaceful New Year!