Hope4Grace

Monday, April 26, 2010

Double Jeopardy

You know you can't be tried for the same crime in the same jurisdiction after an aquittial or mistrial...the courts basically get one shot at you. Lucky crinimals, Dave got two shots at me. He drug, um took us hiking again yesterday after church. My poor legs are like rocks right now and my arms are noodles and there is an insect bite on the back of my neck that is starting to look like the growth of my second evil head. It was so much fun.

I can totally see his point. We got up and ran our errands. Dropped off all our dirty clothes for the laundry lady and then made it to church on time. After church we did up Kohls for mommy some hiking shorts so I didn't have a repeat of the sweaty jeans jiggle. It was at Kohls that I actually had some mommy time. We split with him and the girls heading off. I tried on about a million pairs of shorts (being so short I buy my shorts in the teen department which means elbowing through giggling fashion divas and trying to find something my butt didn't hang out of, seriously what is it with girl fashions lately.....letting our kids put it all on display) and after doing all that trying on finally settled on a fab pair of camo shorts and a pair of nylon shorts. I get to the register pay for my poop and set out the truck hoping they hadn't lost patience with me. I had my speech prepared about the million pairs of shorts I had to weed through.

Except they weren't in the truck, they were inside. I ran inside to meet them and came up on the thunderstorm face that is my husband when he is seriously pissed. Both of my children had the guilty look, as if they'd just boosted some tvs from their local electronic store. There is such a thing as mentally girding your loins, and yep that is just what I did. I mentally prepared myself for what was to come, cause it had to be good.

And was it. Seems my husband wanted to try on some t-shirts (cause I'd pointed out earlier that he seemed to wear the same 5 all the time, ignoring the rest of his tshirts cause he didn't really care for them - yep all my fault). He'd gathered some up and then took them to the dressing room where he'd asked the girls to wait on the bench outside the dressing room door for him. As in the bench still in the department store but right outside the dressing room where he could still hear them. It would have been easy cheasy...right. Well before actually going in, he walked over to look at one last shirt and when he turned back, our sweet baby girls were playing cowboy and horse, with Duchess riding Princess piggy back through the mens dressing room. The same mens dressing room that naked men were changing in. Oh brother where art thou? What a mess.

My sweet babies are grounded for a week from tv and frankly they deserve it. We're big on doing what your parents say and so when they out and out disobey like that.....it's gonna hurt. So no Dancing with the Stars, no Survivor...........they are out of luck. Not to mention the lecture on the way you treat a men's dressing room just like a men's bathroom.......off limits.

I was exhausted and ready to nap at this point. But no, we grabbed laundry and put it away then strapped on our new hiking shoes and hit the trail.

This time we took a 2 mile dead end trail. So 4 miles all together. Which wouldn't have hurt so bad if my knee hadn't started aching at the first 1/2 mile, but I sucked it up and went with it. This trail was NOT my favorite. It was wide and sandy which means my feet sunk with every step. I didn't complain constantly like I wanted to, Duchess was doing a fine job of it, but man I wanted to. At our turn around point, we opened our bag to dig out snacks and I was so freaking excited. I had packed a cliff bar I liked and when I opened it, was covered in those tiny little ants we get in the trailer. Damn ants found a way into my sealed cliff bars. I hate ants and it's a constant battle to stay ahead of them in the rv. I was not a happy camper.

Which is why the entire way home, Dave sang cadence songs to the kids to keep our spirits high. Even more hysterical, he tried to rephrase them all so they'd be clean appropriate versions, I have never laughed so much in my entire life. The man just makes my day.

So with my swollen knee, stiff ankles, rock hard thighs and noodle arms I managed to eek out my papers for school by midnight. I'm thoroughly exhausted. And the kids want to go swimming today. I think after school, mommy is taking a big FAT nap.

I have earned it---double jeopardy

Labels: idiots, On The Road