Hope4Grace

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Oh my

Our evening took quite the turn tonight. Rarely do I get the chance to really sit and talk about big important events with my kids one on one. Tonight I got that chance.

Princess came home from school with some facts about Pearl Harbor. All said with a smile and I had to stop her and explain why mommy was tearing up.

Pearl Harbor hurts my heart.

No matter what I accomplish in this life, one of my most important accomplishments is the fact that for ten years, I was a military wife. No I didn't actually serve. But in a sense I did.

I was there the day he left for bootcamp, I can still remember the hug of steel and the desperate kiss as he struggled to be nonchalant and sober. The look in his eyes was apprehensive and proud. It was that day that he developed a habit that he never changed......he walked away to the military without looking back. (Never in 10 years of deployments and underways has he ever looked back on the walk down the pier, focus ahead.....that is his way, it took me a long time to understand that was his way to actually leaving even when he didn't want to.)

I was there the day he graduated bootcamp. So shiney, so strong, so tall. He stood out among his classmates. He was older than 99% of them, military bearing was so natural to him. I was so proud that day, there really are no words. I'll never forget how he found me in the crowd afterward they released everyone and the place became an instant crush. He'd let some of his fellow sailors smell my perfume (from my letters, how very old fashioned of me....we still have all of those too) and it was a tall, lanky kid who grabbed my hand, sniffed my neck and yelled that he'd found me.

Two weeks later, we married on Dec 22, 1997 because we didn't want to be apart. So I went with him to his schooling and then onto his first ship assignment....

I was there for every assignment. I was there when he called to tell me he'd been burned. I was there when he called to tell me about a close call with a flooding chamber. I was there in every email, phone call and letter.

I have prayed more for that man than anything else in my life.

The military is something very near and dear to me. So I sat Princess down and explained Pearl Harbor. She's almost 11. It's was time. As the magnitude set in, I reminded her that the military is the very backbone of our freedoms. I explained that as a future woman, why she was blessed to live in America. And when she didn't grasp that, I explained the rights of women in some other countries. I pointed out the differences.

Then she dropped the bomb.

She's really been thinking of joining the military when she is older.

I explained that I would be proud of that. I also explained that after COLLEGE that would be an option. Because education = choices. I also explained that while I would support whatever she wanted to do, her daddy might be a problem. He will always see her as the blond toddler following him around....and that man is against anything dangerous for his kids.

But he surprised me tonight. He had an intelligent, supportive conversation with her. He didn't exactly embrace the idea but agreed that education = choices and if that was her choice, he'd do whatever to help her get there. Once again, he made me oh so proud.

So for now, she wants to be a Naval Officer. Last month it was a large animal vet. Next month might be an astronaut. But you know what..........at least she is thinking and dreaming and looking forward.

I can't ask for more.

Except maybe that she cleans out from under her bed.

Labels: Great Parenting 101