Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Day That Wiki Died
I killed my children's fish. Or perhaps I should say I killed my fish, whom my children adored. The fish that survived the family before me who never fed him, causing him to eat part of his own fin in desperation. He survived the trama of their three year old playing with him in the bathtub. He survived all of that to become a part of my family.The fish that when my office closed for the entire Christmas break, I made The Man take me on a snowy stormy night to get him cause he was alone. I fretted so much that we transported him home in a padded box, bowl and all. The Man took a nasty spill with him and about killed himself, all while safely transporting my fish to my house.
Where my children fell in love with big ole ugly red beta fish that was Wikipedia, or Wiki for short. He was happy here. We fed him three times a day. He sat in a place of honor on my coffee table in a beautiful new bowl. He was king of my livingroom. He would swim in lazy circles when I turned the record player on with hits from days gone by. He would agitate the water when The Man played alternative country or vaccumned, which must have sounded quite the same to him. If he was hungry or wanted a treat, he would stare at you until you gave in and fed him, I could feel that stare across the room. He was an amazing pet.
Two days ago, in all the hectic running around of a house with sick kids and deadlines, I waited up before bed to clean his bowl. Something that The Man usually does for me. But since he was working, I dove right in. I prepped the new water, conditioner tables and all then set it aside. I took out his little roman column and sanitized it properly all the while chatting on the phone to my girlfriend. I got the little cup and positioned his bowl right next to the sink so I could grab him up and put him in the little cup of water so I could rinse his bowl and move the treated water in. When I put the little cup into place and pinned him down where he had to swim in or jump out.
Well he jumped out. Straight into the sink and did a backflip into the garbage disposal. OMG. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dropped the phone and pulled his little body from the disposal with my hand and a quick poke realized that he was gone............
Did you know there were little sharp spikes in the garbage disposal?
ME NEITHER!
I gave him a quick funeral with grace and a flush and called my husband hysterical. He wasn't at this desk, so I left a message and called my mommy.
After a quick explaination, she wanted to know if I tried CPR (I did wake her up for this so it was a fair question) I asked if a poke or two to his gills counted......Mom assured me that The Photo Elusive Step-Dad would be happy to go out the next day and procure a clone fish and sneak it in my house while we were at work/school so my children would never know. Yes, wrong......yes I know. But they were whiny sad kids who were just starting to feel better and it was our pet.
The Man called back and after a few minutes of dechipering my blubbering, he asked.....how? Well once we were done, he assured me that as soon as his carpool dropped him off, he would go straight into town and procure a clone fish. No worries, he would do it. Cause he knew how much that damn fish meant to me and the kids.
So the next morning, I let the kids sleep late, something I never do, hoping they would be in a rush and not notice the fish that wasn't there. Just in case, I'd done some sheets and folded them around the coffee table obscuring the bowl. After a quick assurance that Wiki did not need to be feed (poor bastard fish) they were content to rush off to school.
The Man and I passed in the driveway and after a quick hug, I knew he would take care of it all. It took 4 hours of precious sleep time and three stores to find a clone fish that somewhat looked like my Wiki. But this Wiki is alot smaller and more orange.
So we got home last night and sure enough there is a Wiki swimming around the bowl on my table. The kids fed him and Princess commented on how much smaller he looked in his clean bowl and they went off to do homework.
I sat down and cried. Cause this Wiki hates me. He runs from me and he hates my old records. I'm pretty sure someone told him that I killed the other Wiki.
May the original Wiki rest in peace.
I'm going to hell, and a dead fish will be my gatekeeper.......
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Girl I'm a person who laughs at someone else's pain..... I know I shouldn't be but I'm laughing my ass off. Garbage disposal.... he jumped into the freakin' garbage disposal. It must be my canadian humor cause dang I thought it was funny.... on another note.... I think Superman got my humor.... must have been because I laughed when his Dad ended up on the Ikea floor after a chair shot out from under him... I was 9 months pregnant. Suprised I didn't go into labor right there and then I laughed so damn hard.
I truly am sorry for your loss, but you sure do have a way with words!!
You seriously need to write a book.
Oh, I feel your pain. My husband somehow managed to kill our goldfish a few years back. We had bought them before my son was born as a way to make my then two-year-old daughter feel special and learn responsibility.
Those damn things lasted two years but one morning while my husband was on a flight, we woke up and found the bowl filled with bubbles and the fish floating at the top.
My daughter is eight now and still talks about missing Goldy and Rocky. After killing replacement fish in just two days (I'm guessing something was wrong with the tank) we decided to get a damn dog just because we knew it wouldn't die as soon.
Sorry for the long comment but you brought back major memories. I really am very sorry for your loss. It sucks.
It's a good thing you don't have livestock to take care of....would be too expensive for you to replace!
***sniff*** That's so sad, I'm a sucker for pet storys - I'm sure wiki II will grow on you.