Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Oh My Heck
Since moving to our new snowy mountain home, I've held my tongue and tried to contain my thoughts and opinions about my neighbors....why? This is a great question, specially since I'm not really known for my "keeping my mouth shut" qualities. Well it's like this....I'm surrounded by Mormons. Not just a few, everybody.When we moved here, the hubs and I were thrilled at the thought of leaving the coastal sunshine for a "family" place to raise our girls. However, as soon as we told people what area we were moving to, it was immediately "So when will you get those extra wives?" or even better "You'll hate it, they suck!" Yeah, fun times, people are so sweet.
So we moved here. They are so family oriented. They are genuinely nice. They keep to themselves. These are all great perks, however it also means, their family are their fellow church members, not the new Southern Baptist family who moved in down the block. They are genuinely nice, really. The keep to themselves always....and their kids do too......
And now I'll share with you how you'll know you're in Mormon country.....but your not Mormon.
- When you shop on Saturday at Super Walmart and inadvertently say Fuck, it will clear the aisle....
- When your neighbors throw a block party and you aren't invited.....
- When your neighbors leave weekly fliers on your vehicles and door knobs regarding Family Improvement night at the church.....
- When you go to your kids new school and attempt to see the principal and get asked to send your husband to see him.....
- When your kids teacher asks your kid how many brothers and sisters are at home (cause really they don't care anywhere else) and your kid says just one more and the teacher is shocked speechless!
- When you shop at Walmart on a Sunday and it's you and the crickets in the parking lot (they don't shop at all on Sunday....hello mall!!!!)
- When all local businesses and the MALLS are closed on Sundays.....
- When your kids asks you why we're not LSD (I swear!!!).....
- When you learn not to bother waiting in line, you just drop the f-bomb, they will make room for you at the front of the line......(I'm just evil)
- When you realize that not every Mormon has fourteen wives, 99% of them have just one
- When you realize that the two women in front of you in line are indeed part of the 1%, and yes most do dress in prairie garb.....
- When you house hunt in areas by parking the car on the side of the street in a neighborhood and smoke a cigarette, if no one comes out on their porch to stare, its a maybe......
- When a person realizes that you're not Mormon and suddenly wants to know everything about why you don't agree with doctorine....theirs......although they are really nice about once they realize that you do believe in something.....
- When during a job interview you realize that the person is actually blood kin to Marie Osmond, cause come on.... that is just cool!!! "Meet me in Montana!"
- When your kids' live in a neighborhood full of kids and yet they only have each other to play with.... that saddens me like crazy
- When a well meaning person encourages you to enroll your kids in the church primary school (I'm guessing like sunday school) so that it will solve the no friends problem....
- When the first words out of a cops mouth are "Yeah we go to church together, sorry she hit your car"......
- They don't curse which just makes me the damn sore thumb, oh but they do say "OMH" as in oh my heck.....(warning: that phrase is addictive)
- When you mention hellfire and brimstone and they don't flinch....is that just a southern baptist thing....oh and I love our church here, nondenominational but I miss the yelling...
These are the hand full of unique problems we've ran into living here, but still I love living here. I love my work, my co-workers are the most professional people I have ever worked with AND they put family first. The major pull is the snowy mountains and clean fresh air....just don't breathe near me...So any experiences that you might have had or if you're Mormon I'd love the feedback on how you find living around non-Mormons.....
Labels: About me, Welcome to the Boonies
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I could totally see the two of us clearing every single line we'd venture into, if I were to ever come visit, lol. If someone says the f-bomb around me, I try really hard not to say it - but always, inevitably find myself saying it. Dammnit.